What is attractiveness and how can I get it?
Attractiveness is nothing to do with beauty or being handsome. Beauty is a physical quality that can be seen from a distance (such as in a photo) and can also mean one thing to one person something different to another. Beauty is indeed "in the eye of the beholder". Attractiveness is the quality that can only be appreciated when in close proximity to someone. It is a quality that reaches out from that person and draws you to them. Attractiveness is totally unrelated to physical aspects of a person and that should be a relief to most of us! For this reason attractiveness can be cultivated if it is not already there and enhanced if it is. Attractiveness is related to the soul and spirit of a person. People talk about someone having "a spark" about them this means that they wanted to be around them. This is the kind of quality that you are looking for when you are dating. You also want to cultivate this in yourself.
How can I be more attractive?
There are certain qualities that almost all people find fundamentally attractive. One of these is Confidence. People are rarely attracted to shy or insecure people. The implication is that you might need to do all the work in a relationship if you were with one of these people. So how do I become more confident and out-going and less insecure? There is no easy answer and the blunt answer would be that you just need to get out there and start dating Christians. You are going to get some knocks along the way but you are also going to have some nice times and this will increase your confidence.
In your pursuit of becoming more of an attractive person take a look at your life. Do you have a life that someone will find interesting? Are the things that you are enthusiastic about going to make someone else find you more interesting? Does your life revolve around church or is there more to you than that? You may need to be doing some things just for fun. We all need earthing from both our jobs and the Church at times. Having other interests makes us more interesting people. So many Christians do little more than go from work to Church to home, with little in between.
Keep your mind active. Be interested in things that don't directly relate to your life but may be of interest to someone you might meet. Make sure you are aware of what is going on in the world at large. You don't have to be an expert but nobody like ignorance. If you begin to add the things we have mentioned here to your life, over time, you will become more of an attractive Christian. The things that motivate you and make up your life will begin to radiate out of you and people will be drawn to you.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Christian dating tips
One thing I've learned in my experience with online dating sites is a lot of men and women could
use some advice and tips on how to do the "online thing." Over time, I'll add more tips, and even some articles about Christian dating and relationships. For now, consider the tips below.
For Women
Do not reveal personal information until you are sure you can trust the guy. If you're in the phone book, all a person needs is your name and the state in which you live to track you down.
If a guy pushes for a phone call or meeting before you're ready, that's a red flag. A godly guy should respect you enough to wait until you are comfortable moving forward.
Don't initiate. Let the guy take the initiative in moving forward, whether it's a phone call, meeting or whatever. Personally, I'd rather make the intial contact, too. He'll respect you more.
I recommend using a temporary email address, such as Hotmail, so that you're not giving out your permanent email address right away. Make sure you don't put your full name on your whatever email address you use.
As as courtesy, you should respond to every guy who writes to you, even if you are not interested. Come up with a standard response like; "Thanks for writing. After reviewing your profile, I don't believe we're a good match. Thanks for writing, and God bless you." In other words, let them down easy, but give them the courtesy of one response.
If you post pictures, PLEASE use discretion with the pictures you choose. Don't select pictures that are "sexy" (eg. showing a lot of cleavage or an extremely revealing dress.) This can give the wrong impression and attract the wrong kind of guys. (Yes, even on Christian sites there are guys who want a phyical relationship or are only attracted to the physical.) Also, in my opinion, it is not a good idea to post pictures from "Glamour Shots" because they are usually not a good representation of the "real you." Instead, post pictures that show you doing something you enjoy, and and that really depict who you are.
These guys are your brothers in Christ, so treat them that way.
For Men
Don't push a women to move too quickly. Be willing to respect her enough to wait for her to be comfortable before moving forward.
Remember that these women are your sisters in Christ, treat them that way! That means honor, respect, kindness, gentleness, patience and self-control, to name a few.
NO SEX! You're messing with God's daughter, here. If you think it's okay to violate God's standard for sexual purity, you're fooling yourself. And don't play the Bill Clinton game, defining sex only as intercourse. Sex includes intercourse, oral sex, touching of breasts or genitalia under or over clothes, simulated sex and masturbation.
If a women tells you she's not interested, just let it go. You don't need to respond. There are plenty of other women out there. :)
As as courtesy, you should respond to every woman who writes to you, even if you are not interested. Come up with a standard response like; "Thanks for writing. After reviewing your profile, I don't believe we're a good match. Thanks for writing, and God bless you." In other words, let them down easy, but give them the courtesy of one response.
use some advice and tips on how to do the "online thing." Over time, I'll add more tips, and even some articles about Christian dating and relationships. For now, consider the tips below.
For Women
Do not reveal personal information until you are sure you can trust the guy. If you're in the phone book, all a person needs is your name and the state in which you live to track you down.
If a guy pushes for a phone call or meeting before you're ready, that's a red flag. A godly guy should respect you enough to wait until you are comfortable moving forward.
Don't initiate. Let the guy take the initiative in moving forward, whether it's a phone call, meeting or whatever. Personally, I'd rather make the intial contact, too. He'll respect you more.
I recommend using a temporary email address, such as Hotmail, so that you're not giving out your permanent email address right away. Make sure you don't put your full name on your whatever email address you use.
As as courtesy, you should respond to every guy who writes to you, even if you are not interested. Come up with a standard response like; "Thanks for writing. After reviewing your profile, I don't believe we're a good match. Thanks for writing, and God bless you." In other words, let them down easy, but give them the courtesy of one response.
If you post pictures, PLEASE use discretion with the pictures you choose. Don't select pictures that are "sexy" (eg. showing a lot of cleavage or an extremely revealing dress.) This can give the wrong impression and attract the wrong kind of guys. (Yes, even on Christian sites there are guys who want a phyical relationship or are only attracted to the physical.) Also, in my opinion, it is not a good idea to post pictures from "Glamour Shots" because they are usually not a good representation of the "real you." Instead, post pictures that show you doing something you enjoy, and and that really depict who you are.
These guys are your brothers in Christ, so treat them that way.
For Men
Don't push a women to move too quickly. Be willing to respect her enough to wait for her to be comfortable before moving forward.
Remember that these women are your sisters in Christ, treat them that way! That means honor, respect, kindness, gentleness, patience and self-control, to name a few.
NO SEX! You're messing with God's daughter, here. If you think it's okay to violate God's standard for sexual purity, you're fooling yourself. And don't play the Bill Clinton game, defining sex only as intercourse. Sex includes intercourse, oral sex, touching of breasts or genitalia under or over clothes, simulated sex and masturbation.
If a women tells you she's not interested, just let it go. You don't need to respond. There are plenty of other women out there. :)
As as courtesy, you should respond to every woman who writes to you, even if you are not interested. Come up with a standard response like; "Thanks for writing. After reviewing your profile, I don't believe we're a good match. Thanks for writing, and God bless you." In other words, let them down easy, but give them the courtesy of one response.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
